FLEXIBLE: Guess What? The best wedding you went to, didn't go to plan

In the almost 5 years I’ve been a celebrant, I’ve seen more than one bride, groom, sister, mother or uncle think on their feet. And if you think back to all the wonderful weddings you’ve attended as a guest, especially the BEST ones, I can guarantee that there was more going on than what you realised.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret. That’s the best part about it. They’re the things you didn’t plan for that actually worked out better, and they are the stories you’ll be telling for years to come.

Here are a few of my favourites.

The lost ring

I conducted a ceremony on the groom’s property at Stockinbingal. 30 minutes before the ceremony, I checked that the groomsmen had the rings, and they assured me that they had everything under control. It was their most important job after all.

When the cars with the bride and her bridesmaids started driving down the hill towards us, I turned to see saw the groom and his groomsmen focussed more on the ground than the ladies. Since talking to the boys, the best man had lost the bride’s ring, and had turned grey. I told them to keep looking through the grassy paddock, and went to greet the bride.

When I returned, the groom said we had to confess. I said to him, “Mate, what a way to start married life? Let’s tell her later so you get a smile down the aisle, not a glare”.

We quickly borrowed a ring from a guest, and started the ceremony with no one the wiser. As we had hoped, a beautiful, smiling bride walked down the aisle to meet her groom.

When it came time to exchange rings, she realised her ring looked a little different. The groom lent in and whispered, “I’ll explain later…”

To add to the saga, the guest we had borrowed the ring from had small fingers, and the groom could only manage to slide it onto her first knuckle. When she went to put the groom’s ring on, it didn’t fit him either and it was actually his! All of the guests had a good laugh and we moved on with only a few of us knowing what had really happened.

The couple had a great laugh about it after the ceremony and, with the help of a metal detector the next day, they found the ring!

Noisy kids

I married a couple who had a young son, and they had planned for their family to take care of him during the ceremony.

Despite Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles doing their best to hold his focus, he really just wanted to be close to his parents. He was upset, and I could see it was creating stress for them as well, so I suggested that we let him join us up the front.

Mum and Dad took turns holding him for parts of the ceremony, and at times he just stood beside us up the front. He even wandered off in parts, but was happy he could be involved. In the end, it was a special addition to this family wedding, and the screaming stopped which meant everyone could relax.

Missing videographers

Moments before the ceremony was supposed to start, we realised that the videographers were nowhere to be seen. Two of the groomsmen suggested that we let the groom and bride know, but like our lost ring, I suggested that we keep it low key. We let the groom and wedding coordinator know, and aimed to delay the bride without causing panic.

You might know, I love a good story. I kept the guests entertained with a couple of light stories and a Q&A session about the couple. Everyone thought that the bride was a little late and this was all part of the plan.

Our videographers arrived before the bride did, and we started without a hitch.

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At the end of the day, we do search for “the perfect day”. Some of us have been dreaming of this day since we were kids, and there’s a lot riding on it. What we don’t realise is, that there will be an involuntary grin when you see your love for the first time in a suit, and the day is a blur of hugs, well-wishes, and fun. You’ll be so loved-up that the little stuff won’t phase you.

And I guarantee you, you’ll look back and say, “Hey… since when did we own a metal detector??”.

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Michael Bower is the principal celebrant at Canberra Celebrants. He has married over 195 couples so far, and loves bringing people together in a way that’s authentic to them.